Kiss Me Twice Part 1 Read online

  Kiss Me Twice (Part 1)

  Lauren Hawkeye

  Published by Calluna Vulgaris Books, 2014.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  KISS ME TWICE (PART 1)

  First edition. September 26, 2014.

  Copyright © 2014 Lauren Hawkeye.

  ISBN: 978-0991916658

  Written by Lauren Hawkeye.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Other books by Lauren Hawkeye

  About the Author

  Linger Excerpt

  Hollow Excerpt

  This one is for every reader who wanted to know what happened next for Mal, Adele and Dorian.

  And I also have a special thank you to Kelly P. Simmon, for use of the name InkSlinger, and to Julia Kent, for use of her "Random Acts of Crazy".

  Prologue

  Three Little Words Gig- East Coast Biker Rally

  ADELE

  The sensations were overwhelming.

  We stood in the wings of a small stage housed in a trailer, and my eyes widened at the sheer press of bodies that writhed on the field below. In between live sets like we were, the music was canned, but the hard rock had a steady beat that made the floor beneath my feet tremble, the vibrations licking at my skin and bringing it to life.

  Not that it wasn’t already alive, pressed as I was in between two men. A few months ago, the very idea of being trapped by so much male muscle would have made me panic, would have sent me into hiding, but now?

  Now these two men were my anchors, and while I didn’t need them to shelter me all the time, it was a luxury I’d never even dreamt of, to know that, if another storm came, they would be my rock.

  The hard bass blasting from the speakers stopped abruptly. Squawks from feedback and some random percussion from a set of drums filled the air in its place. It was time for Three Little Words’ set, but Dorian didn’t seem in any hurry to join his band mates on stage. No, he was too busy claiming my mouth with his own, his tongue doing wicked things that made me wish we—all three of us—were alone, rather than at a biker rally with thousands of denim and leather clad people shouting for the music to start back up.

  “Stop hogging all the fun.” Behind me, I felt Malachi press his hips against my backside, and the intimate position left no doubt as to how much he was enjoying our shared embrace. He kissed the nape of my neck, and I shivered.

  If you told me two years ago, back when I first met and dated Mal, that he would ever be comfortable with a public display of affection of any kind, I would have rolled my eyes. But now...

  “Chill, sugarplum. I won’t leave you out.” Dorian, his naughty grin framed by his messy blond hair, winked down at me... and then he slid his hand over my hip, and around to rest on Mal’s ass.

  Whaaaaat?

  I froze in place, trapped between my two... boyfriends, for lack of a better word, certain that Mal was going to jerk away. He had come a long way since I first met him... even since he came back into my life a few months ago. But I was pretty sure there was still a long way to go between sharing me so he didn’t lose me, and being comfortable with—or maybe even enjoying—what Dorian had just instigated.

  Behind me, I felt Mal stiffen... well, the parts of him that weren’t already stiff. But when I craned my neck to get a glimpse of his face, I found something I wasn’t expecting to.

  His eyes had the hint of wariness that I expected, yes. But they also held... interest, and a definite flicker of heat.

  “Mal—” I started to say, but my words were cut off by the drum stick that flew out of nowhere and whacked Dorian in the skull. He shot his middle finger in the direction of the stage, but didn’t even blink, his stare fixed on Mal. I’d have given anything to know what each of my two guys was thinking. Still, I cast an irritable look toward Levi, their drummer, who gestured wildly for Dorian to join them on stage before turning to ogle a pretty blonde girl in the crowd.

  I was a bit insecure, wondering what he thought of the unconventional relationship of one of his oldest friends. But as I studied him from under the thick fringe of my eyelashes, I realized that he really didn’t seem to care—and neither did Wyatt or Pax, the other two members of the band. In fact, no one here seemed to even blink at the fact that I was sandwiched between two prime specimens of the male species, and that one had his hand on the other’s ass. Probably because everyone else here at this rally was too busy pursuing their own good time to care about anyone else’s.

  The realization was ... freeing. Exhilarating. Unlike back home, where we were still feeling our way around other people, here?

  Here it seemed like we could let our freak flag fly.

  And it was completely awesome.

  “Dude. We’re on. Like, now.” Levi shouted across the stage, and the crowd close to the stage started chanting the band’s name. Dorian groaned, pulling Mal against my backside and claiming me one last time in a way that left me breathless.

  And I didn’t miss the pulse of something that passed between my two guys before Dorian jogged off to the stage. I shivered as naughty images involving serious, dark-haired Mal and wicked, fair Dorian flooded my mind.

  “You warm enough?” Mal pulled me back against him, turning our bodies so we could watch as Dorian started to strut across the stage, swivelling his hips in that way that made me react like every other woman in the audience, judging by the screams.

  “Yes.” I snuggled back into Mal’s embrace, which by this point felt like home. And pressed against the solid planes of his body—how a law student maintained his physique, I’d never understood—while listening to the Aussie accent in which Dorian rasped the band’s first song was more than enough to keep me warm.

  But me being me, I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering into the dark places I’d lived in for the past two years.

  I wasn’t panicking at being in public, in a crowd. This was a huge development for me, after what I’d gone through two years ago. And I knew that my ability to be out in the open like this, with strangers all around, was because Mal and Dorian were those anchors that I kept comparing them to.

  But I also knew, deep down I knew, that I still needed to learn how to be my own anchor. Because having Mal and Dorian in my life? It was almost two much of a good thing.

  At the end of the day, I still felt like I couldn’t trust anyone but myself. Because good things? They all came to an end.

  I’d barely set foot in the small hotel where we planned to spend the night when I found myself pressed back against the door. My pulse started to skitter through my veins as Dorian caged me in against the hard surface, one of his hands planted on each side of my head.

  “What’s wrong then, pet?” He pinned me with that intense, dominating stare of his as he thoroughly invaded my personal space. I wanted to roll my eyes at the nickname he’d taken to calling me, but I was too surprised by his perception.

  “What do you mean?” Dodging the question, I peered over Dorian’s shoulder to find Mal standing by the end of the bed. His arms were crossed over his chest, and though his expression was thoughtful, the way he watched me told me that I hadn’t fooled anyone.

  Damn it.

  “Answer the question, love.” My attention was torn from Mal’s gorgeous face back to Dorian, and I felt my heart skip a beat when I registered the unyielding determination on my rocker’s face.

  Despite his
easygoing demeanor, Dorian liked to be in charge, and Mal wasn’t far behind. While I’d never imagined I would enjoy having control taken away from me—especially after the way it had been in the disaster that tore apart my life—with these two it was different. When they took over, it quieted the never ending voices in my head and let me simply be.

  We’d only barely tapped into that dynamic sexually, but as I stood there, pinned by the stares of these two men, I was pretty sure that if I didn’t answer, we’d be taking that step forward tonight.

  “Adele.” This from Mal, who took a step forward. The movement had anxiety mixing with anticipation.

  These two acted like this because they wanted all of me. But how was I supposed to tell them that there was a part of me that they could never own, because I still hadn’t been able to find what I had once lost?

  “I’m fine.” I hated the lie, but knew it was the only way to convince them. I met Dorian’s stare head on, and then Mal’s. “I’m just a little antsy. You know, all those people.”

  I blanched internally the second the words left my lips. I wanted honesty between us—especially after the misconceptions that kept Mal and I apart for two years.

  But the truth behind the lie?

  This world of ours runs two by two. So while I planned to cherish every second that I had with these two in my life, I still had my doubts. Lots of them.

  I looked up, feeling horrible, and willed them both to believe me. And when Dorian narrowed those green eyes at me, my pulse stuttered, sure that he was going to push.

  But instead he tangled his fingers in my hair and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

  “Poor baby.” His lips travelled to my temple, then to my lips. I felt the warmth of his breath as he whispered against me.

  “You’re not telling us everything, pet. I’d say you deserve a punishment, but I’m not sure you’re ready for that yet.”

  “Say what?” As I’m sure he intended, the mention of punishment caught my attention. “What do you mean, punishment?”

  “Use your imagination.” Dorian smiled that wicked grin that did funny things to my insides, and I felt myself go week in the knees.

  I didn’t have to imagine too hard. Or maybe I was afraid to, because I knew I would like the dark things that I saw.

  That I wasn’t ready to see.

  With that in mind, I ducked under Dorian’s arm, seeking escape, only to find myself hemmed in by Mal.

  “You’re not punishing me,” I informed them both. “No way.”

  This time it was Mal that gave me one of those heart stopping grins as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. “Not tonight, anyway.”

  The quick glance that he sent Dorian told me that they’d discussed this—discussed me—and that delicious slide of anticipation deepened.

  “She’s thinking again,” Dorian announced, pushing off of the door and sauntering in our direction.

  “Hmm. So she is.” Lifting, Mal hauled me up so that our faces were level, and devoured my lips with his own. I was panting by the time he released me. “Can’t let her develop a bad habit like that.”

  “I’m right here,” I managed to get out as Mal gently placed me back on my feet. “I can hear you.”

  “Counting on it, pet.” Dorian tugged me away from Mal, sitting on the bed with me on his lap. I moaned when his fingers found the hem of my T-shirt and stroked the band of skin beneath the soft cotton.

  Mal was less patient, tugging the shirt from my hands, pulling it up and off my head. When he dipped his head, and his lips found the curve of my breast, I sighed and let myself fall into the moment.

  I, of all people, knew that sometimes, the joy of the moment was all there was.

  Chapter One

  ADELE

  The spring air was light, crisp with the promise of new possibilities. I set a brisk pace as I walked to work, savoring the slight burn in my calves and the shocking chill of the air that I sucked into my lungs as I broke into a light jog.

  The coolness of the air against my skin, the blaze in my lungs... both made me feel alive in a way that I hadn’t for so long after what those two frat boys had done to me.

  Rape. To this day I didn’t know if they’d drugged me or if I’d just been that drunk, but either way¸ they’d raped me—two of them. And then posted the pictures on Facebook.

  Don’t go there, Adele.

  But just like that, I felt my good mood plummet, felt those snaking tendrils of anxiety trying to twine tightly around me and never let go.

  “Fuck this.” As though I was trying to outrun the memories, I picked up the pace, and then increased it some more, reaching for the mindless burn that had first attracted me to the roller derby league that I played in.

  Though now, I wasn’t using the pain as a means to forget. No, I wanted to remember it, so that it could make me stronger.

  By the time I skidded to a stop in front of the coffee shop, I’d broken into a light sweat. My lungs burned, my thighs screamed, and I was once again feeling in control.

  Before I’d met Dorian, and before Mal had come back into my life, I’d done my best to hide, to just forget what had happened that night. The two of them were slowly, bit by bit, helping me to enter the realm of the living again.

  In fact, I thought as I peeled off my zip-up sweater and shoved up the sleeves to the thermal shirt that I wore underneath, life at the moment was pretty fucking awesome. Apart from my newly ignited love life, my boss Charlie—the owner of the coffee shop—had recently stepped back from the daily running of the place. And when he did that, he made me the manager. Now that alone may not have been such a huge deal, but combined with the fact that my arch nemesis Marti had quit after the last, all too memorable time that we had butted heads?

  I still dealt with insecurities daily—I wasn’t sure there would ever be a time when I wouldn’t. But when I could work through them? I felt on top of the world. And more than that, for the first time in two years I was feeling ready for something... something more.

  Maybe it was time to tackle my fear of crowds, and let the guys take me to a party.

  Or maybe... maybe I was ready to go back to school.

  “Meow!” The feline cry tore a shriek from my lips. Jolting, I knocked my elbow, funny bone first, against the glass door to Java the Hut. Coloring the air that I’d been savoring with curses, I looked down and found a sleek cat winding through my legs, the most innocent kitty expression that you could ever imagine on his little face.

  “Damn it, Humper!” Bending over, I scooped up the little bastard and tucked him under my arm as I pulled my keys out of my pocket. I tried to glare at him, but instead planted a kiss between his ears. “You’re not supposed to follow me to work.”

  The cat who’d adopted me a couple of months ago just purred, nestling into the crook of my arm and I couldn’t help but grin.

  Humper tolerated Mal, but wasn’t interested in getting up close and personal. And Dorian? Humper was in a long term, passionate love affair with Dorian’s footwear, hence his name.

  But me? He chose me. And that was just another thing that made my world seem a little bit brighter.

  I hummed as I turned the deadbolt in the door, the sound so familiar to me by now that I knew I’d recognize it anywhere. Humper took a flying leap out of my arms as I carried him through, bolting for the small pantry where he liked to curl up and nap the day away. The tiny closet was warm and scented with cinnamon, located just off the kitchen where we put together the shop’s edibles.

  I stopped humming abruptly as I realized that the scent of those same baking goods wasn’t hanging heavily in the air like it usually was at this time of the morning. Frowning, I pulled out my phone to double check the staff schedule... yes, Meg was supposed to be in for the early shift.

  “Meg?” I called out, my footsteps echoing in the shop, but I already knew I was alone. Anxiety seeped into my system as I padded from the front of the shop to the back, but found no trace o
f my co-worker, or even signs that she’d been there and popped out for a bit.

  Meg was reliable, and we were friends. Missing a shift was not at all like her.

  Frowning, I pulled up her number in the call display on my phone as, after a brief hesitation, I slid behind the counter and started the process of brewing the first batches of coffee. I was alarmed at Meg’s absence, probably more than most people would be, but that was exactly it—surely I was overreacting. I knew I was. And being concerned didn’t stop the fact that within twenty minutes our regular early birds were going to be banging at the glass door, expecting dark roast and scones.

  “Meg, it’s Adele. Just wondering if everything is all right... I had you scheduled for the early shift this morning, and I just got here and there’s no sign of you. Please call me back.” I left a message when Meg’s voicemail started, and then texted her for good measure. Dread was slowly curling in my stomach, and overreaction or not, I couldn’t stop it.

  When my life had collided with those two frat boys, everything had changed. I now distrusted everyone until they gave me a reason to do otherwise. And so while I actually wanted to be annoyed with Meg for being flaky and forgetting a shift, I couldn’t help but harbor the suspicion that something else was going on.

  Still, I thought as I called a local bakery and begged them to deliver muffins, cookies and bread as soon as they could manage, I didn’t know what else to do. Meg and I were work friends, but until Mal and Dorian, I had made a habit of keeping people at arms’ length... and that meant that I didn’t even know where Meg lived.

  But if she hadn’t answered by the time the shop opened, I’d go dig through employee records to find it.

  Humming again, this time out of nerves rather than high spirits, I switched out the coffee dispensers and gave in to the urge for a caffeine fix myself. I drank the bitter liquid steaming hot, scalding my tongue as I tried to decide what to do.

  “Screw this.” I’d rather be extra cautious and overreact than the opposite. Tossing my empty cup at the garbage can, I tried to calm the nerves that were catching a wave through my veins.